Happy New Year to everyone from Funny T-shirt land
We at Crooked Monkey would like to wish everyone a happy and healthy new year. Tonight is the start of Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year.
The Jewish New Year is a little different than the secular new year. Instead of wearing party hats that say "2009" on them, we wear yarmulkes. Instead of binge drinking, we pour some glasses of manishewitz. Instead of Dick Clark and Ryan Secrest ushering in the new year, we have a Rabbi and a Cantor. Instead of the ball drop, we have the shofar.
There are many deeper layers for the Jewish New Year that I won't get into right now, but my dad (Rabbi Stuart Weinblatt) is giving me some reading to get in the mood for the holiday. I'm excited to close up the shop and start reading. It's important to be in the right mindset for Rosh Hashanah, a holiday that focuses on renewing and regenerating the self and reviewing your actions. How can we improve for the new year?
Crooked Monkey will be improving in many ways--we are producing funnier t-shirts (if that's even possible). We will be stocking more t-shirts, which means we can ship shirts out quicker. We will be focusing much more on marketing and celebrities--meaning our email campaigns will be more existent and celebrity sightings will be more frequent. We will be targeting the college scene a little more. And we will work to be better people.
Let us know if you have any resolutions for this new year--or if you have any ideas for Crooked Monkey.
Last nights Presidential debates were quite interesting. McCain looked like a 45 year old beauty queen. Remind me to hire his make up artist next time I'm on national television. He performed well too, pointing out Obama's shortcomings and referencing his countless trips abroad and relationships with heads of states.
Obama looked calm and reserved--focusing on the future and how he can help bring change to our country. As he usually does, he spoke in broad idyllic terms, which promoted his sense of non-partisan talk.
The candidates had some fundamental differences, which was important to see them battle head on.
But I think the real winner was Jim Lehrer. What a class act. How come he hasn't run for president yet?
Oh and why wasn't anyone wearing any of our political t-shirts? Or funny t-shirts? What's the deal here. I refuse to vote for any president that can't rip off his tie and support Crooked Monkey's funny t-shirts.
I'm at a tradeshow in South Beach called Trafik. It's been pretty good--traffic has been alright but business has been good. Our funny t-shirts are a big hit here--we just came out with some destination shirts that are doing pretty well.
Anyways, I turned on the TV today and started watching some good old local news. Local news never fails to amuse me. But this time it hit a little closer to home than usual. The lead in to the story was "High end boutique sells more than just clothes." What a cliffhanger. And me being in the clothing business, I decided to stick around and listen to this tantalizing story. The camera pans to a boutique owner--a very familiar looking boutique owner--being whisked away in hand cuffs. After a few more seconds I realize she owns To di For in Miami and that shes bought Crooked Monkey in the past. The reporter explains that she was charged with distributing marijuana from her retail store in Florida. Sounds like the economy has gotten pretty bad.
She stopped buying Crooked Monkey about a year ago--I guess she thought our Best buds and chai times designs were a dead giveaway to her back room dealings.
Here me now. Hear me now. We've been producing this shirt for a while, but only now feel that the online world is ready for this shirt. What with the stock market crashing and all, what better way to say "bring back the good old days," than this t-shirt.
So I'll explain the shirt a bit, because the deeper meanings are sometimes lost on us. The first explanation for this shirt, is that we all love those original Apple IIe computers. The original Macs were the best. The world was a little simpler back then--black and white screen, floppy disks, and Oregon trail.
So i've gone through the trouble of finding the best Jerome clip around. Watch it twice because there are subtleties that need to be recognized. He starts off the clip with his patented "jerome in da house" and then moves on to some other priceless lines.
Today is a day for posting new funny t-shirts from Crooked monkey. We posted our University of Maryland college licensed t-shirts earlier today. That was a huge post for all Terp fans, and for anybody who Fears the Turtle.
So here's our Facebook Stalker shirt. It goes well with our Tag this t-shirt and our Facebook it's my day job t-shirt. It's actually my favorite of all three, although all three are pretty awesome. This completes our trio of facebook shirts. Look out for our poking t-shirt, coming out soon.
University of Maryland College T-shirts are up on the site!
Hey hey. Our University t-shirts are finally up for sale on Crookedmonkey.com! They've been selling really well in the stores, and we now have stock of the shirts. That's great news. You can now pick up/check out the coolest licensed college t-shirts on the planet. We chose UMD because of our strong connection to the University of Maryland, because we Fear the Turtle, and because we simply love the Terps.
ShopFlick interviews Micha Weinblatt from Crooked Monkey Funny T-shirts
Courtney from ShopFlick interviewed us for their blog, shopflick.com. Enjoy!
SF: What does your brand stand for?
MW: Crooked Monkey is about fun. We strive to put smiles on people’s faces by providing them with funny t-shirts. At the end of the day, the goal of Crooked Monkey is to remind people how awesome College and bring people back to their glory days.
SF: What is the inspiration?
MW: College students, the college lifestyle. We try and take the best four years of a person’s life and express it through soft, vintage style tees. Its college-inspired humor, and college kids are who we aim to please.
SF: Who are your customers?
MW: The college student, obviously. But we also recognize that guys and gals who are just about to enter college, and who just left college, have a strong bond with Crooked Monkey as well.
SF: What’s new this season?
MW: We’re introducing a line of hoodies, flannels, and sweat pants. We also just secured collegiate licenses so look out for Crooked Monkey’s irreverence to hit the college mascot scene in a big way. And like always, count on us for hilarious, humor graphic tees.
SF: What items are people responding to most?
MW: For girls our environmental and political screens have been doing really well for us. For the guys our classic humor t-shirts have been very strong this season.
MW: We started at a bar in College Park on May 5, 2005. That was our launch party and the rest is history. Our first big account was National Jean Company in Long Island, and we’ve never looked back.
SF: What is your must-have item?
MW: Scarves. They’re functional when it gets cold outside and they can dress up a t-shirt or dress down a cute dress. They’re the absolute best day-to-night staple.
SF: What are you wearing right now?
MW: Plaid. I can’t get enough of it for fall. And Crooked Monkey tees, of course. They’re perfect for day time - comfortable, effortless, and chic. Not to mention the wearer of a funny t-shirt always gets a ton of attention.
SF: Is there anything else you would like to share with the Shopflick community?
MW: Keep checking www.crookedmonkey.com for our newest t-shirts. We produce t-shirts like its our job, so we’re always coming out with new hilarious stuff for you guys. And if you have any questions or comments, post them or email me.
In our second installment of "We love Entourage, and we know our readers love Entourage so we will review Entourage episodes a few days later than we should," we take a look at "Unlike a Virgin."
My roommate, current dentist, and former Crooked Monkey Funny t-shirts model, put it well when he said this is a new day for Vince. Vinny Chase has decided to grow up a bit. Realizing that he can't always get what he wants by flashing those boyish good looks, Vinny starts the first day of his new life pro-actively chasing movie roles and women. Instead of sitting back and waiting for the next pay day, Vince calls a meeting with Ari to determine his fate. Instead of settling for the girl with nice legs, he woos Justine Chapin and whisks her away into his car. You get the feeling that Vinny is about to tear some shit up.
And we got a little more Lloyd which was great. His prance-turned-sprint was priceless.
I'm not going to talk too much about Drama, cause I think it went a little over the top. Good work Turtle--Bros over hoes. It always works out for the better.
Favorite Ari quotes:
-No indies E. Think of it as the Holocaust. Never again. -You will come back stronger than ever. Like Lance Armtsrong only with two balls. -Pull the plug on the projector.
The current state of the economy is effecting everybody. Few people are able to "Make it Rain" these days, but some are taking the hit harder than others.
Earlier today, Wall Street giant Lehman Brothers went into bankruptcy. This historic moment will impact many, many people, and we at Crooked Monkey extend our best wishes to people who are suffering from the current mortgage crisis.
Watch this video to see how two "Roommates" are handling the situation.
I haven't really gotten a chance to blog/talk about Las Vegas. Crooked Monkey Funny t-shirts took quite a large booth this time at the tradeshow out there. It was twice the size of last year's booth, and it really helped increase our Wholesale Funny t-shirt customer base. We got it into a slew of new stores and introduced our fall line. We've got a great picture of Ben wearing our I recyle boys t-shirt.
If you'll notice in that picture my tri's look pretty big. Well there's two way to grow those babies. You can either spend time in the gym or wear smaller shirts. I've chosen the latter.
Back to the topic at hand. Tipping in Las Vegas. It's such a ridiculous "custom" in Las Vegas. Every single person in the entire city expects hand outs. My brother and I played a little game where we tallied up all the tips that we were expected to give in a day. I also had a pocket in my wallet that was dedicated to tips--I figured I needed about $50 in singles a day to satiate the Las Vegas obssession with tipping. At the end of my trip I was giving bills to anyone walking within a five foot radius--lest I upset someone for not being forthcoming in offering tips.
Next year, instead of handing out tips, I'm going to hand out our "I do it for the tips" t-shirt. Maybe that'll cheer them up.
DC Modern Luxury Article about Crooked Monkey Funny t-shirts
Ashley Gosik, a journalist for DC Modern Luxury wrote up a piece for a series called "Look who's talking" that was featured in the back page of this issue of DC Modern Luxury. I first told you about it when i reported on the Photoshoot of me in a Dolce and Gabbana suit. So here's the article, republished in its full form.
Micha tees off!
And in the process, the Crooked Monkey CEO rocks the vote
By Ashley Gosik
If you’re looking to blame Abercrombie & Fitch for the tasteless T-shirt phenomenon, don’t bother. The culprit is 25-year-old localite Micha Weinblatt. The rabbi’s son co-founded the sophomoric T-shirt collection Crooked Monkey in his primary school pal’s basement three years ago and has since become an international arbiter of sayings like “Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder.” But the Potomac native recently did something a little more grown-up. He launched a collection of “Vote” tees trendy enough to sell out at L.A.’s hottest spots like Kitson and Fred Segal and they’re in short supply at the other 500-plus shops that stock them.
Weinblatt’s style growing up was something akin to slacker-chic. “I always wore T-shirts and sweatpants,” he says. He’s replaced the sweats with designer denim, but tees remain a staple for the U Street boy who keeps his stride in colorful kicks from Puma and Adidas. Before his foray into fashion, the University of Maryland grad studied political science and interned for a number of prominent lobbying firms in the District. But after months of surveying the ensembles of his peers, he decided to put his Hill dreams on hold. “There were too many un-funny shirts out there,” he says.
Just a few months after his company’s launch, Crooked Monkey’s first T-shirt, “Livin’ the Dream,” was featured in a GQ spread. Soon, retailers from Nordstrom to Urban Outfitters jumped on the better-tee bandwagon. A bicoastal sales team and dozens of fresh, irreverent slogans followed but Weinblatt says the political tees are the most important he’s produced. The understated shirts feature sayings like “One Voice, One Love, One Vote,” and “Make Your Voice Heard.” Their bipartisan flavor is intentional.
“I’m not a fan of political parties,” he says emphatically. “There are so many other things that need to be done from global warming to the economy and none of it can be dealt with by being partisan.” The minimogul does, however, find time for a different kind of party. “I usually go out four nights a week,” he admits. Weekend mornings are spent at Busboys & Poets and followed up with a movie on his 46” LCD TV—his first big boy purchase. “Yeah, I guess I am livin’ the dream,” he muses.
I got invited to the Washington Redskins home opener vs. The Saints today. My boy Adam, who owns fellow clothing line Be as you Are, is taking me. Nice nice nice. We usually hang out at the tradeshows, but decided it was high time to hang out in DC--considering we live about 4 blocks from each other. But that's neither here nor there.
My experiences at last years games were pretty solid--i remember the tailgates pretty vividly, but then the game's are usually a big blur. But hey, who goes to football games to watch football.
So let's go Skins. We can still go 15-1.
And enjoy my picture with some staples at FedEx Field.
Oh and in honor of today's game, I'm going to keep the 15% discount up on all funny t-shirts at Crooked Monkey funny t-shirts.
100th Blog Post! 15% off all Funny t-shirts and Balloon Release Party
This is Crooked Monkey Funny T-shirt's 100th blog post. Not too shabby for a Funny t-shirt company to have 100 blog posts already. I wouldn't be mad if we were nominated for the funniest blog award, best t-shirt manufacturer blog award, or Palin fan club blog award. I think we deserve it. We dedicate a lot of time to this blog, we post lots of pictures, and we inform you about the inner workings of the funniest t-shirt shop.
In honor of our 100th blog post, we will be having a 15% sale on all t-shirts on our site for today only. In addition, we will also be releasing 100 balloons into the atmosphere--as mostly a celebration of our accomplished blog, but also to remind those birds and the atmosphere at large that we humans run this earth, and not vice-verca.
Just kidding, we love the environment and would never do anything to harm it. That's why we say you need to either Go green or go home.
We should have a "Best of Crooked Monkey Blog posts" to honor our 100th blog. But that would mean looking back in the archive, which take lots of time. So maybe we'll do that for our 150th blog post. I'll assign one of the interns to pick out our top 10 blog posts. And best blogger too.
Our t-shirt, Waking up is hard to do T-shirt, is based on the song "Cause breaking up is hard to do," so it was no surprise when we got an email from one of our customers the other day asking for our return policy.
She told us that she had purchased two Crooked monkey t-shirts and needed to return them because from the time she ordered the shirts until she received them, her relationship status on Facebook went from "In a relationship" to "single."
That's not the first time that happened. The same girl that wrote and composed "I got dumped for Obama" also got dumped 3 years ago. Her name is Rachel, and she bought our "I slid into third at rachel's bat mitzvah" t-shirt. And this was in the beginning days when we didn't keep stock. It took us about 4 weeks to ship it, and by then she had been dumped (for another girl) and canceled her order.
A few valuable lessons: A)Crooked Monkey makes great gifts for boyfriends. B)When you get dumped by a boyfriend/girlfriend, come to Crooked Monkey. We now have a dumpee discount. Type in dumpee at checkout and get 15% off at checkout. But you better be able to prove that you're newly single.
Our University College themed t-shirts are blowing out!
Our University of Maryland t-shirts have been blowing out at the Maryland Book Exchange in College Park. In one week, they already doubled their first order of Crooked Monkey licensed college t-shirts. This is very very exciting news for Crooked Monkey Funny T-shirts!
When we started to get licenses for Universities, we knew our product was unique. The licensing world is actually quite difficult to get into--especially in the t-shirt area. Universities are retracting licenses left and right, because over time they've given out too many licenses. So it was a huge deal when Crooked Monkey got the University of Maryland license, and it was due to the unique design and concept that we came up with. It was a long process--we came up with the mascot idea over 2 years ago and we finally applied for the license about 5 months ago.
All other licensees who produce university t-shirts do the same old boring stuff, with a few vintage concepts here and there. We decided the only way we would get into this crowded market was to have a brand new, never-been-done-before concept. And when you see our t-shirts, you'll know what we're talking about.
We're already looking to expand beyond the University of Maryland--we hope to bring it to your University next!
Entourage is finally back. Feels like the summer all over again; like it never left.
I'm not sure why they waited until the end of the summer to Premiere it, but I'm not so mad. It's been a real long time since we saw an Entourage episode and it was worth the wait. Last season was a little weak--Vinny Chase got real real annoying, and we didn't see enough of Ari.
Maybe I'm just a dude, but I'm not that into last season's Vinny Chase--he was too soft, got everything he wanted, and was too much a momma's boy. But that's neither here nor there.
Opening scene for Vinny Chase shows him on a beach in Mexico--hooking up with two gorgeous south american chicks, surrounded by blue water, bungalos, and women as far as the eye could see--refusing to come back to the grind of LA.
Ari Gold's introduction pans to him walking down his hallway, greeted with condescending insincere modicums of moral support from colleagues and staff members, forcing him to stop in his tracks and warn his staff of their immenent firing. Mid-tirade, he interrupts himself and threatens Lloyd's life for not answering the phone.
It's really hard to paint an Ari Gold scene-so much of it is in his tone, volume, and unspoken language. Anyways, I love Ari Gold and am glad he was back in this episode in a big way.
E looks like he's grown up a bit. Turtle and Drama were on point as always.
I think they could do a whole show on the My roommate is gay t-shirt. Turtle wears it out to a bar. Drama shows up. I'm not sure where it goes from there, but I'm taking suggestions.
Russell Brand from the VMAs must love our Funny t-shirts--Calls Palin a VILF
I'm not sure if Russel Brand from the VMAs is a subscriber to this blog, checks our site or just has the same taste in Vice presidential candidates that we do. But last night on the Video Music Awards, Brand called Palin a VILF-- a Vice Presidential candidate he'd like to fondle? fuck?
If we had his address we'd send him our Vilf T-shirt, maybe he'd wear it for next year's VMAs.
More importantly, this just allows us to post more pictures of the VP candidate Palin. What a hard job--having to choose between all those great shots of our future VILF. I personally like the more relaxed, casual, t-shirt wearing Palin. But who am I to judge.
By the way, we've heard from some individuals that our shirt should say VPILF. But considering that that's a mouthful, we're pretty happy with the VILF shirt
Our new V.I.L.F. shirt (Vice President I'd Like to Fuck) tells it like it is.
Show your support for the McCain-Palin Ticket through the finest form of flattery: A Crooked Monkey funny t-shirt. What better way to let somebody know you want to vote for them and/or have sex with them than expressing it with a soft, vintage tee?
Regardless of your political affiliation, one thing is certain: A Change is Gonna Come. Whether that change comes in the form of groundbreaking new policy improvements or just having a hot piece of Eye Candy to watch on C-Span...... only time will tell.
There comes a time in a mans life when he has a birthday. It generally happens once a year (or once every 4 years if you were born on the phantom February 29th). My older brother turned 30 last night and it was a bash. We rented out Fly lounge in The District of Columbia and what a night it was. Bottles, models and shenanigans.
The party didn't end there. The after party was in full effect--we jammed out to my younger brothers new track, made it rain and helped the sun rise.
And today the celebration continues. The Facebook invite describes today's party as: Ezra's 30th bday - BBQ/dance/chillaxn funky pool party. You can't really get more descriptive than that. They'll be a ton of pictures, and you can rest easily nowing that they'll all be tagged on Facebook.
And what would a blog post be without discussing funny t-shirts affect on the party? Well, it wouldn't be possible without funny t-shirts.
Wearing not soft, un funny t-shirts is more uncomfortable than I thought
I went to a birthday party last night and I was wearing our Fat chicks, fun until your friends find out funny t-shirt. It just wasn't the right fit for the party so I had to find a replacement--fast. I threw on the first thing I found in my car--don't ask me why it wasn't a Crooked Monkey T-shirt. It was a t-shirt that my younger brother had bought me 6 or 7 years ago. I assumed that it would be soft, because it had been washed so many times.
Oh the pain, oh the discomfort. I hadn't worn a non-soft t-shirt in a while, and now I know why. It's just so uncomfortable. I highly advise anyone who doesn't own a Crooked Monkey Funny t-shirt to purchase one, because if you're walking around in a non-C monkey shirt, you're probably not wearing something soft. And for that, I pity you. I couldn't wait to get back to my car and throw on my Fat Chicks T-shirt again. I breathed a sigh of relief and went on my merry way.
Take the C Monkey challenge. Buy one of our funny shirts and try it on. If it doesn't live up to your standards of softness, return it.
The employees of Crooked Monkey all know that funny t shirts are a lucrative career choice, but it turns out that we aren't the only ones who have caught on! Aaron Fishbein, a senior at Franklin High School, (and, more importantly, a Crooked Monkey funny t-shirt devotee) decided that the name Crooked Monkey had such great karma he wanted to use it himself. He named his stock market team in Econ class the (what else?) Crooked Monkeys! Hopefully the name will bring Aaron lots of make believe money and an A in the course. Maybe by the end of the stock quarter, he'll be so rich that he can Make it Rain! Or buy his girlfriend a nice gift (after all, we know that Classy Girls Deserve Pearls).
When Aaron emailed us to inform us that he named his team after our hilarious brand of soft, vintage tees, we were more than happy to give him and his fellow teen stock traders a discount! If you name your group or team after our funny t shirt brand, we will be more than happy to extend this same generous discount to you - 50% off of all Crooked Monkey apparel!!
Face Cream Moisturizer--gotta keep that face wrinkle free
I was at the Pool the other day at my friends apartment complex and it was turning into a beautiful sight. Weather was great, talent was fantastic, and the sun was plentiful. But just as I was laying down to get comfortable this 50 year old lady, with burnt, brown, shriveled up skin walked by me carrying floating devices and other pool accessories. I turned to the girl next to me who lives in the complex and she explained to me that that lady was a staple at the pool and part-time instructor for the morning aerobics class. I was happy to hear that she was active, but I was tempted to grab some SPF 60 and rub it all over her skin. Either that or clothe her with a Crooked Monkey Funny t-shirt
Just a few days before this incident, my ex-gf extolled the virtues of facial cream--I don't need to go into the jokes I made about providing her with some facial cream. She explained that I should be applying facial moisturizer every morning. But not just any moisturizer, but one that contains SPF 15--even in the winter. In order to keep your face young and wrinkle free, even guys must use moisturizer--or so she says. She was kind enough to purchase me a bottle of it, and even wrote on the bottle "For Men," because she knew I wouldn't use it otherwise.
After seeing that lady in the pool, I was convinced.
Today was the first morning of my new life. I'll keep you posted.
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