Enough Said.

He has a whole post on his site, about the shirt, entitled: Classy or Trashy. All his fans are commenting about how much they love Ryan's I'm not a Gardener, I just like hoes shirt.

Best posts on his site:
1)LMAO please wear that on Idol tonight :)
2)OMG Awesome shirt Ryan. You should wear that on Idol. You need to be more casual. The suits are a little intimidating.

He reported it on his twitter. I'd suggest you start following us on twitter And subscribing to our RSS Feed.

Ryan, that's awesome that you're wearing our Gardener shirt on your Radio show. We hope you wear the Gardener t-shirt on American Idol tonight.

Just so you all know, Ryan bought the I'm not a gardener shirt at a store (probably Urban Outfitters). He actually paid for it, which is much cooler than him getting the tee for free.

Cara, our former intern, found this one. NICE WORK CARA

Labels: As seen on, Celebrity sighting, I'm not a gardener I just like hoes, Press, Ryan Seacrest

As a wholesaler of funny t-shirts, Crooked Monkey has always found creative ways to get our t-shirts into the hands of the end consumer (that's you!).

In the beginning we used to drive around in our Honda Civic--making appointments and delivering shirts on site. Then we started attending tradeshows--really launching our brand further. We started to get recognized at these tradeshows and attending more and more of them. At the height of our love of tradeshows, we probably attended 20 shows/year. Buyers from retail stores all over the country, and the world, came to check out our newest lines and see what new wholesale opportunities were available for them.

Then came the recession. Buyers realized that a trip to Las Vegas, with all the associated costs, was just not in the cards, baby. They decided, and rightfully so, that they'd rather use their money on clothing, and not on frivolous trips. By August of 2008, we decided that Crooked Monkey would significantly reduce its presence at tradeshows and increase its direct contact with stores--either thru road trips (returning to the glory days), phone calls, emails, and other methods.

It is with a bitter sweet feeling that I report that we made the right decision. The Tradeshow is dead. They have become a waste of time. Crooked Monkey has managed to reduce its presence at shows, while still growing during this great recession--proof that quality and awesomeness at the right price is priceless.

Here's one other issue that really irks me about tradeshows. The slowing economy causes less retailers to attend tradeshows. Meaning that wholesalers, like Crooked Monkey, sell less clothes at these shows. The logical progression would be that Tradeshows should drop the price of their shows and offer incentives--yet they continue to charge astronomical prices. How does that make any sense? Not a sermon, just a thought.

Oh and the picture below is from our first ever tradeshow 3 years ago! That's Jon, Della and Me.

Labels: About us, Boutiques, not a sermon just a thought, Office Stories, recession, reflections, retail, ruminations, Tradeshows, wholesale

Crooked Monkey is run by under 30 year olds, so sometimes, shady retailers like to think they can take advantage of us. It's time to think again.

A store that carries our shirts on the East Coast, (We're going to keep the name under wraps for the time being) buys a lot of our shirts. They've been buying our shirts for over 3 years now, but have only been paying for our shirts for 2.5 years. Jerks.

For some reason, they decided not to pay invoices from April of 2007 (2 years ago) until February of 2008. Before, and since, they have paid all their invoices (always late and never without incident, but at least they paid). During that span, they decided to take a break from paying for the shirts we sent. I believe that's called stealing.

Over the last two years we have sent them countless notices, invoices, and statements. In return they have avoided phone calls, not responded to emails and played dumb.

Two months ago we decided to take it to another level and demand payment. They then told us that they disputed the invoices, "I totally dispute all about 2007 story. and i will not even look at it."

In comes our legal team.

Here's an excerpt from the letter, "Should we fail to receive payment in full within thirty (30) days, we will be proceeding with legal action which will not only mandate interest and attorney’s fees, but the cost of enrolling the Judgment in New York."

Take that, assholes.

Subscribe to our RSS Feed. That way you can stay up to date on our blog, new t-shirts, and legal battles!

Labels: bill collection, collection, History, Lawyers, Legal, Office Stories, retail, top blog posts

Because we feel bad that not everyone is chilling on the beaches of Negril, we're giving you 20% off all t-shirts.

Labels: 20% off, Free Shipping, Jamaica, Negril, sales

We're going Scuba Diving Today.  BITCHES.

Labels: Negril, Scuba Diving

Rolling up to our Villa in Negril, we experienced the most beautiful sunset.  Just the way Jah intended it. From there we settled onto the beach: tunes, crystal clear waters, and good vibes. That's how Crooked Monkey launched Spring Break 2009.  Reggae music will be the soundtrack--and Bob will be our guide.  

Labels: Blogging on location, Jamaica, Negril, Spring Break, Vacation

Hiring new help is always a long and arduous, yet rewarding process. The individual needs to embody all that is Crooked Monkey, while also bringing his/her own unique spirit to the team. Creative, Fun, Witty, Intelligent, Fashionable, these are just some of the characteristics we look for in a new employee.

Imagine how hard it is to hire an employee without ever meeting them. We're hiring an additional designer, and are scanning all of Earth looking for the individual who can succesfully carry out our vision. Language barriers, Time Zones, the way their toilets flush--none of that matters when searching for excellence.

Just yesterday we found an awesome new designer who kills it with her graphics. After some emails back and forth I knew she'd be great. We drew up the contract and sent it over to her. This was her response:

"The agreement looks alright, just that... you might need to change she to he:)"

Woops!!!!!! Its real difficult judging genders when you're unfamiliar with the names of the country.

Labels: Funny stories, graphic designers, Graphic t-shirts, Human Resources, woops

A Pizza company in San Francisco took quotes from its 1 Star ratings on Yelp! and turned them into t-shirts that the employees wear.

One of the shirts just says, "This place sucks."

What would happen if we printed shirts with our complaints?

Here's a sampling of some of our most angry customers:

-Your shirt made me laugh so hard i almost died.
-Your shirt got me laid so many times i contracted some STDs.
-After buying your shirts, I became so popular that my phone bill ballooned and I now owe $250 to Verizon.
-Your shirts are so soft that I threw out my sheets and started sleeping in your shirts. But now I don't have any sheets and I need to wash my shirt.

Labels: Testimonials

I realize this isn't Twitter, but I figured I'd make the title look like a Twitter subject.

We're heading to the basketball game of the century tonight. University of Maryland Terrapins vs. Wake Forest Deamon Deacons.

If you have to ask who we're rooting for, you don't know much about our history and about how the shirt that launched Crooked Monkey was the famed Fuck Duke T-shirt. Unfortunately we no longer sell that shirt, but we do now hold the UMD license--we stopped selling contraband and started offering permitted shirts.

Our Maryland t-shirts are pretty awesome. If you're a Terp, and you don't have one of our shirts, shame on you.

Here's the list:
Guys University of Maryland Terps Nose Rub t-shirt
Guys University of Maryland Terps Newspaper t-shirt
Guys University of Maryland Terps Fan T-shirt

Girls University of Maryland Terps Nose Rub T-shirt
Girls University of Maryland Terps Newspaper T-shirt

And we're hoping to get some more licenses--they've done real well at UMD, so we're actively looking to expand the concept.

Labels: terps, Terrapins, UMD, University of Maryland, University T-shirts

Guess what. Another snow day another dollar. We're hosting our 20% off Snow Day sale on all our funny t-shirts.

You should all be thankful that Crooked Monkey is based in DC, and not Chicago. Obama recently made fun of us for how unprepared and scared the city is of snow. Last time we had a snow day, Obama said: "My children's school was canceled today, because of what?" an incredulous Obama asked Wednesday before a meeting. "Some ice?" He laughed.

We'll be working hard today. So if you buy a shirt, we'll ship it out.

Labels: barack obama, Obama, sales, Snow Days, washington DC