Crooked Monkey Blog of Funny t-shirts

Crooked Monkey Spotted all over the world

2010-03-05T11:45:00.005-05:00

In the last few days we've gotten some emails and Facebook messages of Crooked Monkey sightings throughout the New World .

From Rome (below) to Colombia (above), The monkey is spreading his.... love.

How do we get these pictures? Well the "I'd tap that" picture was found by a former Crooked Monkey intern, and current BBM acquaintance. She was perusing a friend of a friends pictures and found this t-shirt. At Crooked Monkey we call this research. In academic circles they call it Stalking.

No Hummers--Crooked Monkey saves the planet

2010-02-26T13:42:00.003-05:00

About a year and a half ago, we came out with our No Hummers t-shirt, to help save the world. Looks like our t-shirt did more than we could ever imagine--the hummer brand is shutting down.

Our friends over at EfficiencyLaw.com actually came up with the t-shirt and informed us of the news.

Just another way Crooked Monkey's t-shirts are saving the planet-one t-shirt at a time.

Brooklyn Cat Guys T-shirt NEW!

2010-02-24T15:05:00.004-05:00

We're on a Brooklyn binge right now. This is probably the flyest of our Brooklyn T-shirts.

Pac Sun just picked up the Brooklyn Cat Graphic T-shirt and you can buy it from them for only 24.50, which is $1.50 less than we're selling it for.

Inspiration for this Brooklyn Cat t-shirt? Check out Spike Lee and Michael Jordan below.

How makes you so fly? Is it the shirt? Is it the Shirt? It's gotta be the shirt.

Be sure to pick up the New Guys Brooklyn Cat Design today.

Guys GTL Gym Tanning Laundry T-shirt

2010-02-23T15:07:00.004-05:00

When we produce a slogan tee that might be duplicated, we make sure our graphic is the coolest.

There are other t-shirt sites that simply throw catchphrases on a t-shirt and put it up on their site. No thought, no creativity. If you need any examples, google GTL t-shirt and let me know what you find.

We labored for a while over whether or not to do a Guys GTL T-shirt. But when Chachi sent over this concept for the GTL t-shirt, it was no longer a question.

If your into looking fresh to death, your gonna need our Gym Tan Laundry T-shirt to complete your outfit. Remember, you only get two chances at a first impression--at the club and in the hot tub.

Girls GTL Gym Tanning Laundry V neck Shirt

2010-02-23T14:55:00.003-05:00

Our Girls GTL v-neck is the coolest of all the GTL t-shirts in the land. There's not much more that needs to be said about our girls GTL shirt, because the t-shirt does the talking.

I would like to quote from our product description of the GTL girls shirt: "Cause first impressions only happen twice--once at the club and once in the hot tub."

Go grab your Gym Tan Laundry Girls V neck shirt before J wow pops you in the face.

I Love Brooklyn New Guys T-shirt

2010-02-19T13:59:00.003-05:00

Brooklyn is cool as shit. Good music, Great bars, weird people. What else could you want? This is our second Brooklyn t-shirt. Our first Brooklyn t-shirt is an homage to our first favorite band. The "No Sleep til Brooklyn t-shirt" has been a huge hit.

Our new, I love Brooklyn Guys T-shirt is just as cool, but declares your love of Brooklyn a little bolder. We've got these t-shirts in stock, so pick up your favorite Brooklyn t-shirt today.

T-shirt War video

2010-02-19T13:25:00.003-05:00

This is one of the coolest videos i've ever seen. And its even cooler because its about t-shirts. Good Job Rhett and Link. Way to use t-shirts as your canvass for creativity.

Valentines Day Poem

2010-02-15T13:28:00.002-05:00

Last year we had an awesome Valentines Day Contest. We didn't have one this year, but people still submitted entries. Heres one from Steve Earp. Thanks! Glad you two got back together

Our Life

I remember that first night,

It was love at first sight

That�s just the way it happened to be,

Me for you, you for me,

Holding hands was against the rule,

In Vacation Bible School

Our love was off the charts,

No one had to tell our Hearts.

Through the years,

There were laughter and tears.

Waiting on an unmarked day,

Life just seemed to get in the way.

Through struggles and a fight,

We still held onto each other tight

Even though our lives were busier than the start

No one ever told our Hearts.

On Valentines night,

It snowed what a sight

We both knew we could not go on

With all that was going wrong

The time had come to separate, leave,

break up the couple known as Kim and Steve.

Then we waited on what God had for our lives apart,

but he knew our love, our Hearts.

A year had past

Since I saw you last

I just came home from visiting kin

you called me up like a long lost friend.

You asked me why I left your life in haste.

I told you remember you said, �You needed some space�

We laughed and talked that night

I asked you out, you said all right.

Months later on our wedding day, noone could tell we had been apart,

There was no time lost between our Hearts

Now the months have turned to years

God has taken away all our tears.

We�ve raised our two girls in a Godly home

Soon we�ll be back on our own

But we�ve never been apart even from the start

Because we�ve always been joined at the Heart.

Now don�t be sad but be glad

I�m blessed for all the time I had

to love you,

My Bride.

Tans & Hot Tubs & Fist Pumps & Poofs T-shirt

2010-01-21T13:38:00.003-05:00

Perhaps my favorite new t-shirt, or second favorite, (I'm not sure anymore), is the Guys Guido List T-shirt and the Girls Guido List V neck.

The shirt lists the necessities of being a good Guido, or Guidette: Tans & Hot Tubs & Fist Pumps & House Music & Blowouts & Hair Gel & Poofs. That's really all you need. That and maybe a little GTL.

So if you find yourself heading to the Jersey Shore, to a Jersey Shore Party, or if you just want to get dolled up for the club, follow these guidelines and you'll be fine: Tans, Hot Tubs, Fist Pumps, House Music, Blowouts, Hair Gel, and Poofs.

The girls Tans & Hot Tubs & Fist Pumps & House Music & Blowouts & Hair Gel & Poofs V neck is printed on an American Apparel Unisex V neck. So when you order it, order one size smaller. (If you normally order a Small, order an XS.)

The Guys Tans& Hot Tubs& Fist Pumps& House Music& Blowouts& Hair Gel& Poofs T-shirt is printed on a regular crew neck, so have fun with it. If you'd prefer the V neck, feel free to buy the girls shirt, which is printed on a Unisex V neck. So order your regular size.

Hope that helps!

Jersey Shore Shirts

2010-01-21T13:19:00.003-05:00

I overnighted myself the Guys Fist Pump T-shirt and the Tans & Hot Tubs & Fist pumps & house music & Blowouts & Hair Gel & Poofs v neck shirt, because I had to have them. Usually I can wait for our new shirts; but not these.

Here's why: Last night I attended a fashion event in Washington DC for Luke's Wings. The event was fantastic and money was raised for a great cause. The location reminded me of our Warehouse Party.

Anyways, I was wearing the Tans&Hot Tubs& Fist Pumps& House Music& Blowouts& Hair Gel& Poofs V neck shirt. I've never been photographed so much before in my life. I felt like Paris Hilton. I empathize with her a little bit now. Paris, if your reading this, me and you, were not so different. Next time you're in DC, hit me up.

Needless to say, you probably need one of our Guido List t-shirts or The Fist Pump T-shirts.

Jersey Shore We pump Fists not Gas

2010-01-15T16:14:00.001-05:00

The state of New Jersey not only produces fist pumpers, it encourages them. By law an individual is not allowed to pump his own gas, so as not to distract the citizen from his god given right to continually pump his fist.

Hence our Jersey Shore We pump fists not gas t-shirt. Its a pretty awesome t-shirt and I'd suggest picking one up before you hit the gas station.

The description of the Jersey Shore We pump fists not gas t-shirt is: "Possibly the greatest thing about New Jersey, is that you can fill up your tank of gas without stopping to beat up that beat."

The t-shirt is on presale until 1/24. It ships approximately 1/31. Enjoy!

Jersey Shore: Pass the Hair Gel t-shirt

2010-01-15T14:16:00.005-05:00

This is the third in our line of Guido t-shirts. Our "Jersey Shore Pass the Hair Gel t-shirt" is only for guys. Sorry ladies.

This t-shirt serves a number of purposes.
A)You can use it as a mirror, to perfect your own blow out.
B)You remind the ladies know how much you love your hair gel.
C)You get to express your love for the town of the Jersey Shore.

The description for the Jersey Shore Pass the Hair Gel shirt is: "How else are you gonna look fresh to death? Oh I know, Gym, tan, and laundry."

Its on presale until 1/24. We will ship it approximately 1/31. Enjoy! Anyone remember the "My new haircut" video. That was one of our first posts and we still love it.

I Heart the Jersey Shore T-shirt

2010-01-15T14:08:00.004-05:00

This is the second in our full line of Guido T-shirts. The Jersey Shore is full of guys and gals rocking those oversized shades, because when you're cool the sun is always shining.

Our Guys I heart Jersey Shore Shirt is printed on a crew neck, and our Girls Jersey Shore shirt is printed on an American Apparel V neck. The girls v neck is a unisex shirt so I'd suggest ordering a size smaller than you usually do.

Our description for the I love Jersey Shore shirt is: "I won't be surprised when the Jersey Shore sees a jump in reservations for bachelor parties and Frat formals."

The I heart Jersey Shore t-shirt is on presale until January 24th. We'll ship it out approximately 1/31.

The Fist Pump T-shirt

2010-01-15T13:49:00.004-05:00

It's been a long time since we last talked with you, but not without good reason.

We've been very busy coming up with the best Guido T-shirts around. We've got a whole slew of shirts about the town, The Jersey Shore. We call them Guys Jersey Shore shirts and girls Jersey Shore shirts.

The first one I'd like to introduce is our "Fist Pump T-shirt." Our Guys Fist pump t-shirt is printed on a crew neck, and our girls Fist Pump shirt is printed on a Vneck. (It's printed on an American Apparel Unisex v neck, so i'd suggest ordering a size smaller than you usually do.)

The description for the Fist Pump shirt on the product page is that this tee is "A step by step guide on how to woo all the fellas at the club. "

Its on presale until January 24th. We'll ship it out approximately 1/31.

Unretring Shirts

2010-01-02T16:35:00.004-05:00

Because of high demand for these two t-shirts, we will be unretiring shirts for the first time ever.

We are going to do one more run for our Classic Playa from the Himalaya and Music makes me lose control t-shirts.

We've gotten so many requests for these two shirts we decided that it was high time we brought them back. But, it'll only be available for a limited time.

Happy New Year!
The Crooked Monkey Team

Holiday T-shirt Sale! Free Shipping

2009-12-17T15:48:00.002-05:00

We're running two simultaneous awesome deals on all our t-shirts.

15% off all shirts thru December 25th (No promo code needed).

Free USPS Shipping on all orders thru December 25th. Promo code: "Holiday10"

We're here to help make sure your holiday season is fanttttasstic. Take advantage of these sales and get yourself or your loved ones some Crooked Monkey t-shirts.

The Jersey Shore TV Show

2009-12-14T14:07:00.004-05:00

The Jersey Shore, the best thing since sliced bread. I hate reality TV shows--everything from the Real World to the Hills to the City--manufactured drama and fake problems.

In comes Jersey Shore, with fake tans and manufactured boobs, but with real drama. These guys and gals own their personalties--everyone from Pauly D's humble declaration that it takes him 25 minutes to make his hair, to Snookies "I invented the frikkin poof"--they are a proud bunch.

Needless to say, we are coming out with a whole line of t-shirts about Jersey Shore. Not the show, but the individuals that make up this oasis of true love.

Get ready to fist pump like champs. We're having a blast with this one, go watch the show.

And then Buffy Staked Edward Tee

2009-12-09T11:11:00.004-05:00

We are going to revisit our favorite shirt of the week, "And then Buffy Staked Edward The End Tee shirt" for a number of reasons.

A)We're so glad that the Buffy Staked Edward T-shirt is rising to the top of people's wish lists for the holiday gift giving season.

B)We're also proud that this t-shirt has risen to the top of Google, so when people search for "Buffy Staked Edward The End" they're going to find the best Buffy shirt out there (ours).

Google has a funny way with its rankings. They have a very complicated algorithm which favors company who manipulate the system--and even pay firms to do it for them--to get their stuff at the top of the page.

Well I'm proposing a new system. Cool stuff should rise to the top, stuff that sucks should drop to the bottom. How do you figure what's cool or not? Websites that have dancing monkeys on their homepage are obviously cool. Websites that lack creativity, obviously suck.

If you've got other thoughts on how Google should do their rankings, let us know. In the meantime, pick up our Buffy T-shirt and if that doesn't satiate your distaste of vampires, try our Vampires Suck girls t-shirt

And then Buffy Staked Edward T-shirt - Best Seller of the week

2009-12-07T09:32:00.004-05:00

This weeks best selling t-shirt surprises me a bit. We've got some Twilight friendly girls shirts, and we've got one anti-Twilight shirt.

Our "And Then Buffy Staked Edward, The End" T-shirt has been selling like hot cakes, or rather blood at a vampire fair (hey oh!). Looks like "New Moon" has increased the amount of anti-Edward fans out there.

Just wanted to keep you all in the loop on what shirts with sayings are selling the best this holiday season.

Oh and look out for our Sketched Boombox guys shirt which will be worn in Eclipse, the third installment of the Twilight series.

Crooked Monkey Gift Notes

2009-12-04T14:16:00.007-05:00

Its the holiday season, and people like to buy Crooked Monkey shirts for their friends--because they want their friends to love their gifts and not return them.

We have a gift option at the checkout, and we have the pleasure of writing whatever note you want us to write. We've written a funny blog post about the notes we've written. But this is a different post.

This is about our interns who write those notes and how pretty they make them, because they want the gift to be perfect. Anyways, enjoy this special gift note, and when you buy a shirt from us, take advantage of our interns. Not in the sexual kind of way, but in the "They'll make your gift look even cooler than it already is" way.

This creation was done by Jacqui, our intern from Walter Johnson High School.

Cyber Monday

2009-12-02T13:16:00.002-05:00

So Cyber Monday is officially over. What a hectic and great day. Our contest was received real well--thanks for loving it!

Promoting the first ever interactive "The shirt I'm wearing is $15" worked out well. We offered 5 shirts, some of the shirts had sayings on them, some were graphic shirts. Well we actually offered 10 shirts at that price (5 girls shirts and 5 guys shirts).

We'll be giving out more deals between now and Christmas. Because as you know, Crooked Monkey shirts make the best gifts--and they're not so expensive!

Don't Waste my Daytime Minutes Shirt on E! News!

2009-11-25T12:40:00.003-05:00

Crystal Harris, from the TV show Girls next door and Miss December 2009, was on E!News last night showing Ryan Seacrest what shirts she's going to buy her friends for Christmas. And guess what she found at Fred Segal Fun in Los Angeles?

Our Don't waste my daytime minutes t-shirt! Awesome. I DVRed the show and will post the video later (couldn't find it anywhere on the internet for some reason).

This slogan tee, or sayings t shirt, was also featured in Seventeen Magazine last year. Grab yours online--for you or your best friend: Don't waste my daytime minutes girls shirt

New Girls Sayings T-shirt: Rock

2009-11-24T17:43:00.002-05:00

Here's a real cool shirt we just produced. The saying on the t-shirt is "Rock" and within the text is a bunch of cool Rock symbols. We're not sure if this is part of our "New Graphic Girls line" or part of the "Classic Girls Slogan line," or maybe its a hybrid of the two. Either way it's a pretty awesome girls Rock t-shirt.

Let us know your thoughts on this new Sayings t-shirt.

Memphis 59: Song of the week

2009-11-24T14:33:00.005-05:00

This weeks honor goes to Memphis 59, a Washington DC based band that asked us to make t-shirts for them. Check out the Guys Memphis 59 shirt and the Girls Memphis 59 shirt here. They're pretty cool and we're glad we teamed up with them. They put on a great show, if you're in DC you should check em out. In the meantime, here's one of their best known songs: Me myself and eyes.

Cyber Monday Deals: $15 shirts with a twist

2009-11-23T15:41:00.006-05:00

We're starting this holiday season off with an interactive bang. Instead of just offering awesome deals on Cyber Monday (November 30th), we're going to be doing some real innovative, interactive deals on our t-shirts.

On Cyber Monday, we're teaming up with Jason Sadler, from IwearYourshirt.com. Jason Sadler will wear Five Crooked Monkey t-shirts. When he's wearing that shirt, it will be on sale on CrookedMonkey.com for 45% off ($15, on sale from $24). He'll be wearing 5 shirts throughout the day. And you'll have to check his blog or twitter to see which shirt he's wearing, and which shirt is 45% off.

He'll be switching his shirt every three hours, and the shirt is only at that special price while he's wearing the shirt. He starts his day off at 9AM (an hour before Crooked Monkey opens our doors, but we'll wake up a little earlier in his honor). He'll put on his first shirt from 9-12PM, and then the rest of his schedule: 12-3, 3-6, 6-9, 9-12AM.

This might be the first ever interactive Sale. Also, as a bonus, any shirt he wears during the day will be 25% even when he's not wearing it.

FAQ:
1)What happens during those 30 seconds when he's shirtless, and half naked? Buy a shirt at that exact moment and find out.
2)He's a dude. What about the girl shirts? Every shirt he wears will have a corresponding girls shirt that will also be selling for $15! It'll be mentioned on the blog and twitter.