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Monthly Archives: January 2009

  • Valentines Day Poem Writing Contest

    Posted on January 30, 2009 by Micha

    Roses are red, Violets are blue
    Crooked Monkey has a challenge for you:

    Valentines day will soon be here
    What will you get for the one you call dear?
    How do you show your significant other
    That they're your one and only lover?

    Instead of just saying, "can i take off your pants?"
    Write a little something that screams "romance"
    Talk about passion, about beautiful eyes
    If yours is the best, we'll give you a prize!

    Write a poem, thats the deal
    Tell your girlfriend or boyfriend how you feel
    Let your love flow through your pen
    But make sure its in by february ten!

    Love is tricky, sometimes it hurts
    But the winner of this gets three free shirts!
    Every girl hopes that her man proposes
    But she'll be content with a dozen roses

    The Fine print:
    Submit a Romantic poem, via email to Poem@crookedmonkey.com or just post it as a comment, by 2/10/09.
    There are no rules as to the length, format and content--so be funny and creative!

    The best poem receives:
    A Free shirt for yourself
    A free shirt for your boyfriend/girlfriend
    A Free shirt for the boy/girl on the side
    A dozen Roses to the person of your choosing.


    This post was posted in Uncategorized and was tagged with Contests, crooked monkey has a heart, funny t shirts, Poems, valentines day, win free shirts

  • K Street Kate

    Posted on January 30, 2009 by Micha


    I love that name. K Street Kate. K street is as close to South Beach as DC can get--Night clubs, long lines, tables, and gorgeous women.

    My brother and his girlfriend went to some private inauguration function last week and ran into K street Kate. Apparently she was Miss DC in 2006. Props to the judges--usually they forget to pick good looking girls. Anyways, I'm assuming if she tried to win Miss DC 2009 she would probably fall to a respectable fourth--right behind Michelle, Malia and Sasha Obama (in that order).

    Believe it or not, I didn't actually meet Kate. But after writing this post I feel like we're almost BFF.


    This post was posted in Uncategorized and was tagged with barack obama, inauguration, K street Kate, Obama, washington DC

  • Purple tunnel of doom t-shirts

    Posted on January 29, 2009 by Micha


    I've heard a lot of talk about the Purple tunnel of doom--the tunnel through which thousands and thousands of ticket holders were trapped. Well our blog post the other day entitled "I don't do lines" could also have been entitled the Purple Tunnel of Doom.

    We've gotten a lot of orders from people who survived the purple tunnel of doom. The girls are ordering the I don't do lines girls t-shirts and the guys are ordering the I don't do lines guys t-shirt. Our t-shirt has become sort of a rallying cry for the tight-knit group and a consolation prize for missing the most historic inauguration of our time.

    We're considering renaming the shirt the Purple Tunnel of Doom t-shirt.


    This post was posted in Uncategorized and was tagged with I don't do lines, inauguration, Purple tunnel of doom

  • Snow day. All t-shirts 20% off!

    Posted on January 27, 2009 by Micha


    Whenever Montgomery County closes for a snow day, we give a 20% discount on all our funny t-shirts.

    Snow days used to be the best days and we want to continue the tradition of getting excited for snow days. The worst was when all the counties around you--like Loudon county, Anne Arundel and Fauquier County--would close and you'd be stuck in school. Anytime I met someone from those counties I was always a little jealous. But then I realized that with all the extra schooling I had received, I was probably smarter than them. And that made me feel a little better.

    Enjoy the sale. You don't have to type anything to redeem the coupon, all the shirts are already discounted.


    This post was posted in Uncategorized and was tagged with discounts, Montgomery County, promotions, Snow Days

  • I Don't Do Lines

    Posted on January 23, 2009 by Micha


    Prior to this weekend, I was excited about all the crowds descending on DC. 1.8 million people--Every single one of them super excited about Obama (and the accompanying BJs for Obama). Young, good looking, fun crowds. But then I had to wait in line every where I went. The bars, clubs, lounges, restaurants, Subway, Cab lines. And that was before the inauguration even started.

    Never has a t-shirt meant so much to me than during the inauguration. I could've handed out 1.8 million I don't do lines t-shirts and it wouldn't have been enough.

    Living in DC, we felt it was our duty to head down to the capitol to celebrate Obama's victory. On Monday, I drove down to the Rayburn Office building to pick up our tickets for the inauguration. With all the street closings and sidewalk barricades, I knew that we had some difficult days ahead.

    Monday night we brought my brother out into DC to witness History. He was wearing some raggedy shoes, jeans, and a parka that was a cross between a large tent and a moomoo. But we got him into the VIP room of one of the hottest clubs in DC, "Current." The night ended at around 4 AM rocking out on Rockband 2.Three and a half hours later our alarm went off and we set out on our journey. Armed with hand warmers, hats and gloves we mapped out our 3 mile walk to the Capitol.

    It would take about an hour, in the blistering cold, but we knew Obama would do the same for us. Then we stepped outside into the freezing cold; we hailed the first cab we saw.

    He drove us as far as he could and we got out of the cab only to follow the crowds, in the wrong direction, for about 10 minutes. There were so many street closings and restrictions that figuring your way around DC was almost impossible. But we chose to go to the inauguration not because it was easy, but because it was hard.

    We finally got to what we thought was our security gate. We weaved through the line and passed security in record timing. We were psyched. It was about 2 hours until Obama took the stage and we figured we had given ourselves enough time to get settled. We videotaped a victory speech of sorts--detailing our journey and our tribluations. The Mission was accomplished. We only needed to cross one street and we'd be at our gate. But between us and the street crossing stood hundreds of policeman on horses, metal gates and big concrete barricades. I pointed to the wall and yelled, Mr. Policeman, tear down this wall. That didn't work out too well.

    So we spent the next two hours fighting the crowds and racing thru tunnels. At T -1 hour our hopes looked grim. We were in lines that weren't moving. There were hordes of people as far as the eye could see--and rumors circulating that they weren't letting anyone else thru the gates. But there are those who look at things the way they are, and ask why... I dream of things that never were and ask why not. So we resorted to using exit only lanes, jumped fences and bull rushed the last line of defense to get to our spot just in time for the swearing in ceremony. And with that, the torch had been passed to a new generation of Americans.


    This post was posted in Uncategorized and was tagged with barack obama, BJS for Obama, I don't do lines, inauguration, Journeys, Life stories, Obama, Office Stories, top blog posts, washington DC

  • Customer love stories

    Posted on January 15, 2009 by Micha


    Here's a beautiful note that a customer received after she sent her friend a Crooked monkey t-shirt.

    Moral of the story Part I: If you want your friends to love you, buy them Crooked Monkey funny t-shirts.
    Moral of the story Part II: If you want a girl to get naked, buy her a Crooked Monkey funny t-shirt.

    Here's the Email:

    "OMG!!!! You continue to awe me!!!!!
    What an amazing surprise!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Thaaaaaaank YOU sooooo much, girl.

    I looove the shirt...I immediately ripped off my clothes to put it on!! Oh my, I am SUCH a lucky girl.
    MY life is WAAAAAAY better & brighter & more fun & more inspiring with a Colette.
    I wanna keep you FOREVER n' ever.

    I luv u bunches. Thanks for making my day such a special one with a rollerskating shirt & the cutesy card EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Love your very happy friend :)),
    Lo"


    This post was posted in Uncategorized and was tagged with customer service, Customer stories, that's how i roll

  • Funniest video i've seen in a while

    Posted on January 14, 2009 by Micha

    Thanks to my friend over at Intellitoys for opening my eyes up this video.

    Enjoy people. And remember, Get money Get paid.


    This post was posted in Uncategorized and was tagged with Funny videos, Videos

  • Bank Error in Your Favor

    Posted on January 13, 2009 by Micha

    If you recall, we wrote a blog about one of our customers entitled "Cause Breaking up is hard to do." It's one of my favorite blog posts about a customer, for a number of reasons, but it was also the start of our Things you can't find on google series. During that post we created our "Dumpee discount," where we offer a 15% discount to any customer who recently breaks up with his/her significant other.

    I then googled "dumpee discount" and found that no one else in the history of time has ever written those two words, side-by-side. Is Crooked Monkey the only brand caring enough to help alleviate the rebounding process--i.e. promoting consumerism as a way to mask any deeper or lingering issues? It seeems so.

    Anyways, that same client who broke up with her boyfriend (in the time it took her to order and then receive her shirt) wanted a refund. And because we love giving refunds to our customers of funny t-shirts, we proceeded with it.

    Fast forward to today, when we are working on closing our books for 2008. We noticed that our merchant provider did not process the refund correctly--resulting in a bank error in Crooked Monkey's favor. The customer didn't notice that the refund wasn't processed, and since we never heard from her we could've simply moved on without processing the refund, in essence "fixing the glitch (see youtube video below)". But since we have a moral conscience, are not some evil corporation (like Initech), and love our customers, we mailed out a check today for the refund. It's fun to do good in this world.


    This post was posted in Uncategorized and was tagged with customer service, Customer stories, dumped, initech, Life stories, Morals, Office Space, Refunds

  • Local Radio Stations court C Monkey

    Posted on January 9, 2009 by Micha


    I just had a lunch meeting with the sales reps over at Hot 995 and DC101. They took me out to lunch to discuss advertising on their websites and radio stations. As you probably know we don't advertise too much on the internet but that could all change pretty soon. They've got some pretty sleek opportunities that were looking into to drive more traffic to our funny t-shirt site. We'll let you know about this as we proceed.

    In other news, we just got a letter from some shady ass store that found a way to skip out of 2.5 million in debt--more details to follow.


    This post was posted in Uncategorized and was tagged with advertisements, advertising, models, Photo shoot, Photoshoot, radio stations

  • A thesis on pricing t-shirts

    Posted on January 8, 2009 by Micha


    Our t-shirts retail for $24-30. Some people think that's too expensive. They think a tee should be under $20. Well I think a 12 0z of Coke should still cost $.50, but I'm still drinking Coke at $.75 a pop.

    The t-shirt world has changed dramatically since the mid 90's. Once Crooked Monkey entered the market, there was a paradigm shift--not unlike the current financial market paradigm shift. The quality of our shirts made loving cotton a reality--and made Charmins toilet paper feel like sand paper. Not that I condone using C monkey tees for that purpose.

    Our vintage-inspired graphics added a new element to the aesthetics of the shirt. Long gone are the one-liners without an accompanying graphic to complement the humor.

    And above all else, our humor is second to none. Original and witty we strive to provide shirts that your best friends will love and your girl/boyfriend will stomach.

    Anyways the real reason for this blog post was to tell you that one of our stores said our shirts were too inexpensive! I was so excited to hear that. They want us to be retailing our shirts for $60-70. They said that our graphics and humor are up for the task but we need to provide a $60-70 blank. So we're investigating those options right now--including grinding up our shirts, giving mineral washes, flocking, foiling and other value added processes to create a shirt worthy of that price tag. But fear not, we will not be doing this to all of our shirts--only a select few.

    It's a cool challenge that Crooked Monkey gratefully accepts. We are on a mission to please this customer and hopefully you guys will be pleased with the outcome as well.


    This post was posted in Uncategorized and was tagged with Future, quality t-shirts, Soft T-shirts

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