I'm a T-mobile customer, and have been waiting for the Blackberry Bold 9700--the most beautiful and powerful Blackberry yet--to be released. Well, it's midnight and Tmobile just posted the Blackberry Bold 9700 product page.

Only problem, is that the product page displays the Blackberry 8900 instead. I'm sure they'll update the photo soon enough. But in the meantime, Enjoy the error!

In the meantime, while you're waiting for the real Blackberry 9700 to load check out our Guys t-shirts and our girls t-shirts.

Labels: blackberry, Bold, Funny stories, Tmobile

Once or twice a year my apartment complex slips the dreaded "Apartment inspection" note under our door. We usually have Seven days to prepare our house for inspection.

It's not the college dorm room inspection--where they're looking for drugs, alcohol, and toaster ovens. This is the next version--they look for cats, dogs, and BBQ grills. We've got the latter.

It's a huge BBQ, like 4 Ft high, 6 Ft wide and 3 Ft wide. So its a real work of art hiding this thing. To successfully hide it from the authorities, we turned to the best. We took notes from Elliot, who hid E.T. in a closet filled with trinkets and blankets.
We got very creative with our disguise--starting off with a blanket to fully cover the monster. Then we added two duffel bags flanking the grill, a 37" TV box, a fold up mattress, golf clubs, and silverware. The goal is to make the closet look like such a mess that no one in their right mind would enter into the room. When everything was finished, we sprinkling dirty laundry on top of everything--a few socks and underwear--to really add to the exhibit.

And to top it off, we made sure my bed was real nice and messy which really enhanced the overall image.

As it turns out, my roommate Eddie is good friends with the inspection dude. So the guy knocked on the door, asked if we were housing pets, we answered no, and he went on his way.

Labels: college stories, Dorm stories, E.T., Funny stories, Life stories, top blog posts

History repeats itself. Just usually its hundreds of years later, not 15 months later.

When Governor Spitzer resigned from office last March because of his lust for Prostitutes, Crooked Monkey produced the "I'm not a governor, i just like hoes t-shirt." It was a huge hit, but the moment was short-lived.

Well yesterday we were excited to hear that Governor Mark Sanford joined the ranks of Governors who love hoes. I'm not sure who went to greater lengths to secure a Crooked Monkey shoutout--Spitzer for spending tens of thousands of dollars, or Sanford for going A-wall for 5 days--but regardless they both earned it.

Ironically enough, yesterday monring, I decided to wear the Governor shirt, long before news broke of Governor Sanford's infidelities. After hearing the news, I was beside myself. A modern day prophet? That's for the history books to decide.

Labels: Funny stories, governor sanford, governor spitzer, I'm not a gardener I just like hoes, i'm not a governor i just like hoes, Phrases you can't find on google, political t-shirts, top blog posts

Hilary had to come into work late today because her house was toilet papered and Egged. To make things worse, it was pouring while she cleaned up the mess. As you can imagine, she wasn't very happy this morning. But we want to turn that frown upside down.

We're going to start a fund to purchase eggs and toilet paper so she can retaliate against the perpetrators. 10% of the sale of t-shirts for the next 2 hours will go to a special Intern fund! And our Father's Day coupon is still up (Promo code: "Father") so go help a good cause--Crooked Monkey Rules.

Labels: Funny stories, Interns, Life stories, Office Stories

Having a car in the city is a huge liability. Parking tickets, speeding tickets, accidents, and scratches are just some of the reasons that you might want to think twice about owning a car in DC. In the first 12 months that I lived in DC, I got none of those. In the last 3 months I've hit for the cycle--multiple times. Oh how my fortunes have changed.

I'd like to explore DC's main source of income: parking tickets. Knowing their joy in handing out tickets, I have become very cautious when parking my car. I carefully read and reread all the posted signs--I walk 30 ft in each direction to make sure that I'm not missing any phantom signs.

The other day I parked my car, for less than 24 hours, in a legal spot and then got a ticket for a temporary sign that was put up after I had already parked. That cannot be legal. Last night I parked in a spot that had been legal for the last 12 months. But a couple of weeks ago someone added a homemade arrow to the "No parking sign" that originally only pointed to the right--now it also pointed to the left (if you click the picture above, you'll see what i'm talking about). It was a questionable spot, so I looked at the other two signs (pictured below) to see if they corroborated this new restriction.They did not--according to the other two signs my spot was still 100% legal. So I figured the added sticker to the other sign was vandalism--or a funny practical joke. It turns out it was neither. This morning I walked to my car and saw that familiar pink slip. Under the comments for the ticket it stated that the signs were "Clearly posted." Clearly posted? No one should have to write a dissertation--weighing one restriction against another--to figure out if a parking spot is legal or not.

I was going to write about how I'm helping ease DC out of this recession. But the more I write, the more I realize that this is no joking matter. It's literally highway robbery.

Labels: Funny stories, Life stories, Parking tickets, top blog posts, washington DC

Hiring new help is always a long and arduous, yet rewarding process. The individual needs to embody all that is Crooked Monkey, while also bringing his/her own unique spirit to the team. Creative, Fun, Witty, Intelligent, Fashionable, these are just some of the characteristics we look for in a new employee.

Imagine how hard it is to hire an employee without ever meeting them. We're hiring an additional designer, and are scanning all of Earth looking for the individual who can succesfully carry out our vision. Language barriers, Time Zones, the way their toilets flush--none of that matters when searching for excellence.

Just yesterday we found an awesome new designer who kills it with her graphics. After some emails back and forth I knew she'd be great. We drew up the contract and sent it over to her. This was her response:

"The agreement looks alright, just that... you might need to change she to he:)"

Woops!!!!!! Its real difficult judging genders when you're unfamiliar with the names of the country.

Labels: Funny stories, graphic designers, Graphic t-shirts, Human Resources, woops

When we go to tradeshows or meet boutique owners, buyers always ask where we ship from and are always surprised when we say Washington DC. The majority of t-shirt lines are based in New York City or Los Angeles. There isn't too much happening in the realm of fashion in this city, but that doesn't mean DC can't be cool once every four years.

At 11PM on November4th, CNN called the election for Obama and DC erupted. I went to a bar in Dupont Cirlce to watch the returns--girls were crying, guys were consoling, and everyone was euphoric. I headed back to my apartment to watch Obama's acceptance speech and I started getting texts from all my friends saying "To the White House." So immediately after the speech I headed to the White house with my roommates, Jon and Eddie, to meet up with thousands of others on their proverbial journey to the new White House. Our walk down 16th street was hilarious--high fives, low fives, and chants of "Bjs for Obama"--but it was quite a hike. So midway through our expedition I hailed down a car and we hitched a ride down to the White House. As you can imagine, parking was impossible to find, so as soon as they started looking for parking we looked for the exit door.And there we were, chanting and singing with the best of them at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. It felt like America had just won the superbowl. The GW paper said that some girls were giving out "Hugs for Obama," but I think the paper was just being kind because "BJs for Obama" was in full effect. What a great time to be living in the Nation's Capital.

Labels: BJS for Obama, election, Funny stories, Life stories, Obama, presidential campaign, top blog posts, washington DC

I was at the Pool the other day at my friends apartment complex and it was turning into a beautiful sight. Weather was great, talent was fantastic, and the sun was plentiful. But just as I was laying down to get comfortable this 50 year old lady, with burnt, brown, shriveled up skin walked by me carrying floating devices and other pool accessories. I turned to the girl next to me who lives in the complex and she explained to me that that lady was a staple at the pool and part-time instructor for the morning aerobics class. I was happy to hear that she was active, but I was tempted to grab some SPF 60 and rub it all over her skin. Either that or clothe her with a Crooked Monkey Funny t-shirt

Just a few days before this incident, my ex-gf extolled the virtues of facial cream--I don't need to go into the jokes I made about providing her with some facial cream. She explained that I should be applying facial moisturizer every morning. But not just any moisturizer, but one that contains SPF 15--even in the winter. In order to keep your face young and wrinkle free, even guys must use moisturizer--or so she says. She was kind enough to purchase me a bottle of it, and even wrote on the bottle "For Men," because she knew I wouldn't use it otherwise.

After seeing that lady in the pool, I was convinced.

Today was the first morning of my new life. I'll keep you posted.

Labels: Advice, classy girls deserve pearls, Funny stories, Life stories, top blog posts