Some things in life are just mysteries. The pyramids, the Bermuda triangle, and the senior who lives in the freshman dorms. I mean, who is this guy? How does he keep getting freshman housing? He’s not an RA, he’s not going on Beer Runs, he’s not even getting with freshman girls. Why is he here? I mean, get an apartment.

Labels: Dorm stories, Rants

Ladies and Gentleman.

Last year, Scotlend decided to ditch their old slogan, "Best Small Country in the World" for a new, catchier Generation X slogan.

$250,000 and many focus groups later, Scotland unveiled their new slogan. "Welcome to Scotland." Amazing. Maybe they should have hired Crooked Monkey to write their slogan.

Here's what we would've suggested.
1)Scotland "Brave Hearts, Courageous Souls"
2)Scotland "No, William Wallace will not accompany your booze cruise"
3)Scotland "We shoot Fireballs from our eyes, and bolts of lightning from our arses"
4)Scotland "Best Small Country in the World at producing bad slogans"

Email your slogan to themonkey at crookedmonkey.com. All entrants will receive a 35% discount on all your shirts! (Don't forget to use the @ symbol). That discount code will save you a ton on holiday gifts

Labels: Contests, Promo Code, Rants

I'm sick and tired of scientists using monkeys as guinea pigs. I think they should use guinea pigs as guinea pigs.

Anyways, heres an excerpt from a new study that shows that monkeys have feelings too...

"In the game, each of a pair of monkeys would hand a small granite rock to a human in exchange for a reward, either a cucumber slice or the more preferable grape.
When both monkeys received cucumber rewards, all was fine in primate land. But when one monkey handed over the granite stone and landed a grape, while monkey number two got a cucumber, madness ensued. " Read the Full Article

Well, wha'd you expect? If I gave you a Polo t-shirt, and your friend a Crooked Monkey t-shirt you'd obviously be pissed.

Labels: Articles, Rants